Rupesy's halftime diagram for the next game

Seccers a Jewish nose in front of the Saints

Round 3 Winter - Seccers 10 Invision Saints 2

Although the score belies another thumping and weak opposition, the game seemed a lot tougher than it seems.

The Saints were a constant threat with a few elusive fellows, although their main weapon of scooting or sweeping to the short side was rather one dimensional and shut down after a couple of early blemishes to our line.

Of course the mighty Seccers were anything but one dimensional, with touchdowns covering all facets of play. There were magic hands out wide. There was the dummy switching going on between Haydos and his mentor Rupes. There was the desisive dummy half sprints from inside his own half from the revitalised Seagull, which lead to half of the touchdowns to the every present and try sniffer Burkie. Burkie also sniffed out a few of his own, usually throwing his trademark dummy with 2 or 3 unmarked Seccers out wide. (note to Burkie - mate, as per the previous 1 dimensional comment, don't forget to mix it up and a few other TDs went begging - but can't knock your success rate).

Other highlights included:

• The ridiculous sleeve-less, leg-less outfit displayed on the X-Man as he rocked up to the game. Mate it's fcuking winter now. You do not have to prove your manhood looking like some tri(hard)-athlete about to set off for a run around lake burley G on a summer's afternoon.
• Another magical X-Man moment when he was put in the clear, only for him to swan dive over the 5m line and be denied an easy meatie. To his credit he got up again (thanks to a subtle shepherd off the ball from yours truly) and he ran cross field for another minute trying to find another gap, but they had all closed up as soon as he got near them (does this reflect another aspect of your life Crossy...?)
• X-Man was involved again, remarking on the ocean like sweat output coming off Big Pete, who marked his first game for the season with some huffing and puffing. And most of that huffing came when he wasn't too impressed when X-man queried his Jewish nose. Tunksie, he meant there's a lot of "dew on your nose" - referring to the aforementioned sweating problem.

And there was a few more unforced errors during the many line breaks made during the game. My analysis was that it's the guys with the rugger background, who hear the support player calling "short ball, short ball" and they pop a little pass, expecting another dopey forward to hit the ruck and maul. Stupid forwards!!!! You know who you are...


So that ends the wrap. We are still on top with a massive 1,000 better percentage than the 2nd team. I'm sure we'll run into some quality opposition soon. But as mentioned in the beginning, our opposition last night was good. But we were just outstandingly awesome. Maybe a harder challenge next week from Cruciates who are 2 from 3.

Seccers conspire to get a percentage

Round 2 Winter - Seccers 10 Ninja Cats 1

After the 14-0 thrashing we handed out last week, leaving us on top of the ladder, we were vulnerable without a percentage. This time Seccers meated out another hiding and allowed a solitary complimentary charitble intercept touchdown, purely intended at establishing a percentage (a whopping 2,400%). Anyway, that's the Soulmann's story, after popping a nice ball to some Ninja, and he's sticking to it.

Highlight of the game was the Will the Wombat's storming run for a solo touchdown, which had teammates talking comparisons with the great Graham Eadie. And it was razzle dazzle all round as Seccers provided the entertainment with 10 scintillating tries, which had sections of the local media questioning the salary cap of this star studded line-up.

One of those players, Cody de Seagulli, who joined the team in similar circumstances to Brett Finch, played his first game of the season, quashing rumours he'd fallen out with management. His appearance did however, come to the attention of the salary cap auditor, who is questioning the appearance of what seems additional hair implants.

Cody was immediately back to his best, with only one blemish when he put on a 'move' close to the line, but failed to give Soulmann the extra 10 seconds to reconnect the broken synapses of his rep playing days to remember what to do, with the resulting ball bouncing off his head (and having to endure a lecture at halftime from a Seagull pumped like he'd found a bucket of chips on a Bateman's Bay park bench).

We won't mention the rare unforced error from JJ Buck coming off his line in the middle of a Fiji hit-up. Or the 5 minute bad period early in the second half when holding the ball was about as popular as Tony Abbott in budgie smugglers.

So here's the very good looking ladder:

POS		TEAM	P	W	L	D	B	BP	FF	For	Ag	Diff	PC	Pts
1		Seccers	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	24	1	23	2400.00	6
2		Cruciates	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	17	6	11	283.33	6
3		Shooters TFC	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	17	9	8	188.89	6
4		Server Rack Australia	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	15	5	10	300.00	4
5		Analytic Allstars	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	14	7	7	200.00	4
6		Invision Saints	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	18	13	5	138.46	4
7		Ninja Cats TFC	2	0	2	0	0	0	0	4	17	-13	23.53	2
8		HTW	2	0	2	0	0	0	0	5	22	-17	22.73	2
9		Hammer Time	2	0	2	0	0	0	0	1	26	-25	3.85	2
10		Tiger Electrics	2	1	1	0	0	0	1	4	13	-9	30.77	0

Burkie's 7 sets new record in ninja nightmare

Round 1 Winter - Seccers 14 Hammer Time 0

What a welcome back to competition in the opening round of the season with a nailing of the Hammer Time while Burkie's new world record 7 touchdowns made it a nightmare night for the nail bashers.

Burkie went ballastic in the first half of no subs, scoring 4 meaties in the first 10 minutes. He had his eyes firmly set on busting the Soulmann's 6 try record from last season, and finally achieved his feat late in the game despite the 2nd half tactical change to starve him of possession.

And he could have stretched the record to 7 tries on the bell, but Rupes wisely dummied to Burkie in a 2 on 1, 15m out with a certain try on, and decided instead to throw the ball over his head.

There were great performances all round.

• Will with magic hands all game and his GI Joe beard (and an unusual double try offered by the ref who asked him if he'd like to score twice in the same play.
• JJ Buck and his impeccable timing in defence (only got caught out twice).
• The uncanny X-Man making his long awaited comeback and holding on to more balls than he dropped (on countback).
• Puffing Billy who kept on steaming along to a few meaties.
• Sean 'Bogut' Wood's extraordinary dive to score a meaty which was followed up by an unusual jump which saw him land his melon on the head of his opponent and split open his own chin in the process, sending him to the sideline to drink his half time lolly though a straw.
• Grimspoon's & Rupes's strange play to 'pass the parcel' with the ball, instead of turning around and rolling the goddam thing
• And the Soulmann's queer fascination with the opposition player's cramped up leg. Must have been a 'skins' camaraderie thing.

So we enjoyed our turn around in fortunes. Blood oath it feels a lot better winning by 14, than being pummelled by the same margin. Pity there were no beers to savour the moment and to celebrate the 7 from heaven. JJ Buck, don't be shy with your eclectic collection of stow away beers...