Seccers 6 Freestylers 9
Well boys, where do we begin? Let’s get the ball rolling with a little in-jest roasting. WHERE THE FARK WAS EVERYBODY?
For those magic 5 who bothered to turn up (in order of arrival - Rupes, Sykesy, Tunksy, JBuck, Grims) it was a tremendous effort to go down with all guns blazing, 9-6 to the freewheeling, free-throwing freestylers (1 of those 9 being made up of a penalty for non uniform). To the others we serve up a big, blue and red raspberry. Heaven help us if we get all 15-18 “contracted” players turn up at the same time.
As we were set to tap off, all 5 of us on the field, looked over at the young, early 20 something fitness freaks, then looked at each other, then looked towards the car park for the cavalry and it was at this moment we realised that this was akin to “Custer’s last stand”. The writing was on the wall when JBuck commented that “you know we are in trouble, when you can bring a sly 6 pack for the boys and still take some home with you”
As if in unison, we telepathically decided that we were “Never gunna give in” and proceeded to inflict as much pain as 5 of us could do. We scored in the first set of six. Massive casualties inflicted. Half way thru the first half we were up 3-2 and our arses were dragging big time. The flying Grimmo was infiltrating their defensive line and causing major losses as he scampered over twice in the corner only to tell us half way thru the first half that the firing pin on his weapon (his hammy) was in need of some major repair.
We went to oranges down 5-4, looking and feeling like we were well and truly outnumbered, as there were only 5 of us.
We had just about asked everyman and his dog if they were keen for a run, while playing in the first half, only to suffer rejection time and time again. As we were getting ready to suit up the pregnant Nadine and/or the very keen Reuben, we spied a young fella (in the same mould as what we were up against) sitting on his lonesome, totally in awe of what had been transpiring in front of him. Of all the games he could have chosen to watch he picked the one where the blood, guts and courage was creeping out of every screaming pore of the gallant 5 of us. Grimmo offered him the chance to be a part of something special and he eagerly agreed. Now here gents, is the “future” of the Seccers, please welcome James Bannon.
Big Sgt Tunksy pleaded with us to “not leave anything behind”, “just give everything you’ve got lads” and off we charged into battle, the 6 of us. We were under the gun from the start and even Tarlo (ref) quipped “What did you blokes take at halftime”. The online defence was typified by yours truly constantly screaming at Sgt Tunks that he had the inside & outside man, that the “Mexican” was into him, no he’s into me, no he’s into you. Lads it was absolute gold. The “future” was diving at will, stopping tries with inches to spare and even scoring one off a clever drop split with yours truly. General JBuck was marshalling the troops like nothing ever witnessed before and was even showing some frustration at the ref, Sykesy chased down infiltration after infiltration and in attack hit every farken gap those Mexicans were leaving and came up with some well deserved meaties. He even had one disallowed when the ref called a touch that the “Indians” hadn’t even made or called.
You see gents, we weren’t meant to win. How can a team of 6 of us (5 for the first half and 1 player near mortally injured) beat the young and wily freewheeling, free-throwing freestylers. They probably deserved the win but geez we were hard done by on a few calls from the ref and also the no-show of some of the playing roster.
All in all it was a hard fought game and one that will go down in the annuls of history.
Only 1 game left for this year boys with the 9th Dec being a bye.
And from General JBuckBuck
But seriously lads, I’ve played in some games but to see blokes not only push through the pain, hammy strains and all (and give it to them I might add) and then just fall short of knocking them off was something to behold! This is what we’re all about – I think they were all pretty much Queanbeyan Kangaroos first graders; so young fit and fast but nowhere near the ticker and drive (and birthdates!) of the dad’s army of 5 last night (+1, second half). The scrambling in defence to deny them tries was unbelievable.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Round 5 - You might think you were happy but you're not
Seccers 2 Wii Not Fit 3
Seccers run of luck finally came to an end with a late try leaving them out of the top 4 with a 4-3 loss.
The boys struggled with numbers, fielding only 5 players in the first few minutes including a topsoil laden Haydos, who looked more like a chimney sweeper than his attempt to look like a hard working war horse. A possible 6th player disappeared quicker than a Tongan beach resident, as a shirt-less polynesian ring-in disappeared to another team who induced him with a real team uniform. Woody, who was sitting on the sideline plucking his chest hairs, eventually joined the game and finally Big Peter 'Tunks' and Burkie rocked up to give the team some relief.
The game saw Seagull put in his best performance for the season, scoring a solo try with his trademark right foot step kind of jink, stutterish thing... oh well, it fooled the slow reacting defender and made Seagull look very good.
Seagull was in all the action and threw a great ball to Grimmo who raced to the scoreline only to be tragically cut down with inches to the line.
We struggled to hit the ball up most of the game, and we were pretty ugly with the ball. But the guys defended their arses off and scrambled well to prevent further carnage. Both teams played a competitive game and were giving it to each other, and more particularly giving it to the aging geriatric ref who was always about a minute or 2 behind the play. Sheep stations certainly seemed to be on the agenda.
The boys came off the field at the end of the game, a bit disappointed, but proud of the effort they put in, particularly voiced by Rupes who did his bit on the sideline, straining his lungs through the broken ribs to help out the team. "You got to be happy with that effort boys" said Rupes in the pre-beer speech.
But the Seagull left his best until last, with his dry candour "You might think your happy with that, but you're not" as he wandered off without his beer.
Seccers run of luck finally came to an end with a late try leaving them out of the top 4 with a 4-3 loss.
The boys struggled with numbers, fielding only 5 players in the first few minutes including a topsoil laden Haydos, who looked more like a chimney sweeper than his attempt to look like a hard working war horse. A possible 6th player disappeared quicker than a Tongan beach resident, as a shirt-less polynesian ring-in disappeared to another team who induced him with a real team uniform. Woody, who was sitting on the sideline plucking his chest hairs, eventually joined the game and finally Big Peter 'Tunks' and Burkie rocked up to give the team some relief.
The game saw Seagull put in his best performance for the season, scoring a solo try with his trademark right foot step kind of jink, stutterish thing... oh well, it fooled the slow reacting defender and made Seagull look very good.
Seagull was in all the action and threw a great ball to Grimmo who raced to the scoreline only to be tragically cut down with inches to the line.
We struggled to hit the ball up most of the game, and we were pretty ugly with the ball. But the guys defended their arses off and scrambled well to prevent further carnage. Both teams played a competitive game and were giving it to each other, and more particularly giving it to the aging geriatric ref who was always about a minute or 2 behind the play. Sheep stations certainly seemed to be on the agenda.
The boys came off the field at the end of the game, a bit disappointed, but proud of the effort they put in, particularly voiced by Rupes who did his bit on the sideline, straining his lungs through the broken ribs to help out the team. "You got to be happy with that effort boys" said Rupes in the pre-beer speech.
But the Seagull left his best until last, with his dry candour "You might think your happy with that, but you're not" as he wandered off without his beer.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Round 4 - Seccer’s failed viral attack on Server Racks
Seccer’s viral attack on Server Racks (aka ACT over 40s rep team) failed to muster a win, with the boys escaping with a 4-4 draw after bombing numerous opportunities with poor finishing.
Seccers were inspired by infamous chick soccer player, University of New Mexico’s defender Elizabeth Lambert, who’s hair-pulling, kicking and punching antics made her famous world wide earlier in the week via the viral phenomenon of the internet.
But instead of one player taking on the whole team, the whole Seccers team targeted one man, the verbally annoying Maradona/Oompa-Loompa look-a-like Alex. After whining constantly that he was being man handled, Seccers took it upon themselves to knock him around with elbows, knees, shoulders and subtly placed bitch slaps. In fact he pretty much got thrown around like the little dwarf he is.
Unfortunately with these tactics, we took our eye off the ball again and continued to drop the pill on the first tackle and let in easy touchdowns with our wingers and links sucked in despite the many ‘drink bottle’ presentations and explanations. In fact one mistake at the roll ball was quite comical as Grimmo trod on the ball and nearly blew 2 years of rehabilitation on his knee.
Missing of course was the defence of JJBuckman, whose absence really demonstrated his worth.
As for the game itself, we were always chasing our tails when the Racks scored first. Whenever we levelled the scores, Racks managed another soft try. The score was 2-2 at half time and approaching the last 5 minutes we found ourselves 4-3 down.
The game was nearly won and blown when JJsoulman seemingly had Burkieman over for a score, but the poor pass bounced of Burkieman’s hulking chest right into the arms of the skinniest man on the field who raced away for an intercept. Don’t we have trouble with the whippet type players? A fantastic chase embroiled and the sinewy legged fellow was caught as he burnt up the remainder of his modest calves. My informant tells me it was the flying Sykesy who chased him down, which bizarrely looked like a mechanical rabbit chasing a greyhound instead of the other way round.
Another TD went begging when Tunksman only had to put the ball down to score, but hell it’s a long way for the ball to get down from that height. And Tunksman subsequently dropped the pill.
Thankfully Burkieman finally earned his recall to the team with a nice bit of razzle dazzle to equalise with seconds remaining.
Only one injury concern was to Rupes who chicken winged himself setting up a touchdown late in the first half.
The ladder sees us out of the top 4 on for/against. Saiyans 12, Freeballers 10, Wii 9 (+7), Racks 9 (+1), Seccers 9 (-6), ACT 21s 7, Omni’s 7, Smokin 6 and Tigers 4.
The team list this week (provided by Rupesman) was:
In: JJSoulman, Xman, Burkieman, Rupesman, Grimman, Tunksman, Haydosman, Sykesman, Scollsman, Seagullman
Out: JJBuckman, Woodman, Stuman, Willman, Lochieman
Seccers were inspired by infamous chick soccer player, University of New Mexico’s defender Elizabeth Lambert, who’s hair-pulling, kicking and punching antics made her famous world wide earlier in the week via the viral phenomenon of the internet.
But instead of one player taking on the whole team, the whole Seccers team targeted one man, the verbally annoying Maradona/Oompa-Loompa look-a-like Alex. After whining constantly that he was being man handled, Seccers took it upon themselves to knock him around with elbows, knees, shoulders and subtly placed bitch slaps. In fact he pretty much got thrown around like the little dwarf he is.
Unfortunately with these tactics, we took our eye off the ball again and continued to drop the pill on the first tackle and let in easy touchdowns with our wingers and links sucked in despite the many ‘drink bottle’ presentations and explanations. In fact one mistake at the roll ball was quite comical as Grimmo trod on the ball and nearly blew 2 years of rehabilitation on his knee.
Missing of course was the defence of JJBuckman, whose absence really demonstrated his worth.
As for the game itself, we were always chasing our tails when the Racks scored first. Whenever we levelled the scores, Racks managed another soft try. The score was 2-2 at half time and approaching the last 5 minutes we found ourselves 4-3 down.
The game was nearly won and blown when JJsoulman seemingly had Burkieman over for a score, but the poor pass bounced of Burkieman’s hulking chest right into the arms of the skinniest man on the field who raced away for an intercept. Don’t we have trouble with the whippet type players? A fantastic chase embroiled and the sinewy legged fellow was caught as he burnt up the remainder of his modest calves. My informant tells me it was the flying Sykesy who chased him down, which bizarrely looked like a mechanical rabbit chasing a greyhound instead of the other way round.
Another TD went begging when Tunksman only had to put the ball down to score, but hell it’s a long way for the ball to get down from that height. And Tunksman subsequently dropped the pill.
Thankfully Burkieman finally earned his recall to the team with a nice bit of razzle dazzle to equalise with seconds remaining.
Only one injury concern was to Rupes who chicken winged himself setting up a touchdown late in the first half.
The ladder sees us out of the top 4 on for/against. Saiyans 12, Freeballers 10, Wii 9 (+7), Racks 9 (+1), Seccers 9 (-6), ACT 21s 7, Omni’s 7, Smokin 6 and Tigers 4.
The team list this week (provided by Rupesman) was:
In: JJSoulman, Xman, Burkieman, Rupesman, Grimman, Tunksman, Haydosman, Sykesman, Scollsman, Seagullman
Out: JJBuckman, Woodman, Stuman, Willman, Lochieman
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Round 3 - Seccers break the no.1 golden rule of Seccers Club
Seccers 7 Tiger Electrics 6
The 2 main outcomes of the struggling hard fought victory over the Tigers was that:
1. Seccers broke their no.1 golden rule of Seccers Club, and
2. You have a test due at 6.40pm Wednesday 11/11/09
The Golden Rules of Seccers Club
1. You don't talk touch tactics* in the post mortem beers
2. Score more tries that the other team
* acceptable beers discussion can include talking up your team mates great tries and defensive efforts, laughing at how you nearly caused an on field fight, how cleverly you disintegrated an opponent mentally or how bad the referee was.
Our struggle against the less fancied opponents had the so called 'touch professionals' dramatically re-enacting defensive plays with drink bottles and playing shoes and much intense discussion of how only the middle players must defend and the wingers are allowed to bludge out wide.
Following this 'discussion' chief lecturer Rupes issued a test that all players must complete. You must, in 500 words or more, discuss the "Anthropological merits of the defensive patterns of migratory wingers".
Full marks though to Grimmo, who was distracted easily and tapped on your correspondent's shoulder, ignoring the discussion, and said "will you have a look at this piece over there". And a tall Amazonian lass playing mixed in the next game, saunters past. Our new found concentration and hypnotic spell was only broken as she attempted to run and she looked rather knocked-knee'd.
So to the game itself, and another sluggish first half saw us claw back to a 4-4 halftime score. The pedantic intense referee once again got under the noses of the Seccers. When the referee announced the score of 4 all at the start of the 2nd half, Woody cleverly asked the referee "to which team?", which had the ref struggling for an answer. This witty sledge provided the only moral victory Seccers had all night with the ref.
2 early 2nd half tries had the Seccers in deep deep trouble. However, there was another legendary fightback. Led by Captain JBuck, who refused to leave the field "until the job was done" the Seccers hit back in rapid response with 3 pies in 3 or so minutes. This proved the difference as the Seccers held on under a mounting penalty count which saw us camped on our own try line for 4 or 5 sets from ridiculous penalties such as 'being a goose for missing a touch', 'not encouraging the opponent to go back 5 metres and play the ball safely out of the reach of our marauding pack' and 'touching with your left hand instead of your right'.
Man of the match was definitely the ref, who found fault at nearly everything we did, but turned a blind eye to the opposition. Was he treating us differently because we looked like elite athletes ready to rip into a fury of fiji touch, and wanted to bring us down a notch or too? Tall poppy syndrome? (we have a few tall poppies). Or did he pity the team that either looked under-fed rodents (who always seem to give us trouble), or obese ex-leaguies who have let themselves go?
The other highlight was when the normally mild mannered Woody got stirred up into a rage and bitch pushed the annoying skinny kid who had given him a gob for the temerity of being cleverly touched. But despite the ref providing the opportunity for both of them to take it further off the field with both being forced subbed, and the youngster snivelling behind his back that he's going to take him on, the action fizzled out as Woody became his diplomatic self again and asked the kid if he'd like him to call his mummy.
In other news, Seccers CEO and occasional player Stuey and his side kick Woody (pictured left) took out the 'best sideline move by hairy backed players' in the 2009 Hirsute Achievement awards.
The 2 main outcomes of the struggling hard fought victory over the Tigers was that:
1. Seccers broke their no.1 golden rule of Seccers Club, and
2. You have a test due at 6.40pm Wednesday 11/11/09
The Golden Rules of Seccers Club
1. You don't talk touch tactics* in the post mortem beers
2. Score more tries that the other team
* acceptable beers discussion can include talking up your team mates great tries and defensive efforts, laughing at how you nearly caused an on field fight, how cleverly you disintegrated an opponent mentally or how bad the referee was.
Our struggle against the less fancied opponents had the so called 'touch professionals' dramatically re-enacting defensive plays with drink bottles and playing shoes and much intense discussion of how only the middle players must defend and the wingers are allowed to bludge out wide.
Following this 'discussion' chief lecturer Rupes issued a test that all players must complete. You must, in 500 words or more, discuss the "Anthropological merits of the defensive patterns of migratory wingers".
Full marks though to Grimmo, who was distracted easily and tapped on your correspondent's shoulder, ignoring the discussion, and said "will you have a look at this piece over there". And a tall Amazonian lass playing mixed in the next game, saunters past. Our new found concentration and hypnotic spell was only broken as she attempted to run and she looked rather knocked-knee'd.
So to the game itself, and another sluggish first half saw us claw back to a 4-4 halftime score. The pedantic intense referee once again got under the noses of the Seccers. When the referee announced the score of 4 all at the start of the 2nd half, Woody cleverly asked the referee "to which team?", which had the ref struggling for an answer. This witty sledge provided the only moral victory Seccers had all night with the ref.
2 early 2nd half tries had the Seccers in deep deep trouble. However, there was another legendary fightback. Led by Captain JBuck, who refused to leave the field "until the job was done" the Seccers hit back in rapid response with 3 pies in 3 or so minutes. This proved the difference as the Seccers held on under a mounting penalty count which saw us camped on our own try line for 4 or 5 sets from ridiculous penalties such as 'being a goose for missing a touch', 'not encouraging the opponent to go back 5 metres and play the ball safely out of the reach of our marauding pack' and 'touching with your left hand instead of your right'.
Man of the match was definitely the ref, who found fault at nearly everything we did, but turned a blind eye to the opposition. Was he treating us differently because we looked like elite athletes ready to rip into a fury of fiji touch, and wanted to bring us down a notch or too? Tall poppy syndrome? (we have a few tall poppies). Or did he pity the team that either looked under-fed rodents (who always seem to give us trouble), or obese ex-leaguies who have let themselves go?
The other highlight was when the normally mild mannered Woody got stirred up into a rage and bitch pushed the annoying skinny kid who had given him a gob for the temerity of being cleverly touched. But despite the ref providing the opportunity for both of them to take it further off the field with both being forced subbed, and the youngster snivelling behind his back that he's going to take him on, the action fizzled out as Woody became his diplomatic self again and asked the kid if he'd like him to call his mummy.
In other news, Seccers CEO and occasional player Stuey and his side kick Woody (pictured left) took out the 'best sideline move by hairy backed players' in the 2009 Hirsute Achievement awards.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Round 2 - Seccers ambushed by genetically modified freaks
Seccers 1 Saiyans 14
We walked right into an ambush last night. An ambush hatched 20 years ago when CSIRO scientists start tinkering with the human genome to produce the ultimate touch football freaks – young slim muscular agile fast blonde surfie looking try scoring machines.
It was enough to make the Uncanny X-Man breakdown in frustration as these genetically engineered 18 year olds played havoc with his aging body. I’m sure these Keanu Reeves of Touch were running at half speed while we were trapped in a slo-mo setting. But of course it was like a blur to the X-Man and he ripped into a series of insults, only to be pounded by youthful remarks such as “you should be retired old man”. X-Man’s retort of “we’ll see how well you go in a 45 year old body you little punks” held no weight, as realistically, we’re not going to be around to see it anyway. As the game wore on, his age creeped up “I’m ok for a 48 year old… just slow down would yers”.
Of course the conspiracy theorists have already deduced that these scientific freaks were designed with the sole purpose of destroying the Seccers. No mortal humans could beat the Seccers by such a scoreline and with such ease.
There were not too many highlights of the game. Unfortunately heads were dropping and enthusiasm waned as fiji touch style was hit by a sidestepping tsunami.
Although our defence was pounded in broken play, there were still impressive defensive performances by Rupes with his wonderful cut-off defence on the line, saving the team from further embarrassment. And JBuck was his stealthy best and in the faces of kids, forcing errors that the youngsters hadn’t experienced before. But even JBuck couldn’t prevent touchdowns with legitimate touches, as the ref awarded another try despite his clear touch saying “I’ve been awarding touchdowns to them all game – I’m not going to stop now”.
And the big units Tunksie and Haydos worked their rings off in defence – but it had about as much effect as a giraffe trying to catch a spider monkey.
We welcome the returns of Grimmo and Burkie. The latter conveniently slotting the No.1 jersey back on after his sojourn with the piss. Grimmo slotted back into the team with ease and you wouldn’t have realised it was his game for 15 years. An interesting tactic by Grimmo with his second half Kapa o Pango (throat cutting) haka, possibly aimed at himself after an unforced error forced his immediate (self) replacement.
Thankfully the 2 Julian’s combined to prevent a nil scoring whitewash. But it was a rare opportunity to cross the line. Even a long ball thrown by your correspondent, surely leading to a score out wide, mysteriously floated out of control into the hands of their fullback, who ripped through the straight line of defence to score another length of field meaty. Surely their ball had been genetically tampered with too.
We walked right into an ambush last night. An ambush hatched 20 years ago when CSIRO scientists start tinkering with the human genome to produce the ultimate touch football freaks – young slim muscular agile fast blonde surfie looking try scoring machines.
It was enough to make the Uncanny X-Man breakdown in frustration as these genetically engineered 18 year olds played havoc with his aging body. I’m sure these Keanu Reeves of Touch were running at half speed while we were trapped in a slo-mo setting
Of course the conspiracy theorists have already deduced that these scientific freaks were designed with the sole purpose of destroying the Seccers. No mortal humans could beat the Seccers by such a scoreline and with such ease.
There were not too many highlights of the game. Unfortunately heads were dropping and enthusiasm waned as fiji touch style was hit by a sidestepping tsunami.
Although our defence was pounded in broken play, there were still impressive defensive performances by Rupes with his wonderful cut-off defence on the line, saving the team from further embarrassment. And JBuck was his stealthy best and in the faces of kids, forcing errors that the youngsters hadn’t experienced before. But even JBuck couldn’t prevent touchdowns with legitimate touches, as the ref awarded another try despite his clear touch saying “I’ve been awarding touchdowns to them all game – I’m not going to stop now”.
And the big units Tunksie and Haydos worked their rings off in defence – but it had about as much effect as a giraffe trying to catch a spider monkey.
We welcome the returns of Grimmo and Burkie. The latter conveniently slotting the No.1 jersey back on after his sojourn with the piss. Grimmo slotted back into the team with ease and you wouldn’t have realised it was his game for 15 years. An interesting tactic by Grimmo with his second half Kapa o Pango (throat cutting) haka, possibly aimed at himself after an unforced error forced his immediate (self) replacement.
Thankfully the 2 Julian’s combined to prevent a nil scoring whitewash. But it was a rare opportunity to cross the line. Even a long ball thrown by your correspondent, surely leading to a score out wide, mysteriously floated out of control into the hands of their fullback, who ripped through the straight line of defence to score another length of field meaty. Surely their ball had been genetically tampered with too.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Ewen McKenzie says Seccers cared more about fancy football than nudity
NEW Queensland Reds coach Ewen McKenzie has accused Seccers bosses of recruiting players on the basis of ability not looks.
McKenzie, who was not selected by Canberra ‘Fijian’ touch specialists Seccers in September, said the club was more interested in having players with exceptional ball skills and scoring spectacular tries rather than pose them for the club's semi-nude calendar.
"Seccers is the best team in the world in terms of skill," the coach told French sport daily L'Equipe.
"It's an international brand. But on the level of their looks, some things are shocking. Seccers are verging on amateurism. More than half of these blokes are over weight and covered in back hair"
He went on to accuse club president J. Buck of "only seeing two things – passing the ball at every opportunity and the after match beers".
The popular Seccers calendar 'Dieux du Stade Deaxan' (Gods of the Deakin Stadium), features nude and semi-nude photographs of team members.
"He has a marketing outlook which is not always in the best interests of sport," said McKenzie.
"For example, Buck could recruit one player over another just because he has skills. He had no regards for a better looking player for the calendar.
"He has players in the squad who I would never choose. I heard that players such as Burkie were requested to leave the club because they wanted to pose for the calendar.
"He had certain players in the team who, for me, shouldn't have been in a team targeting a calendar for the Canberra market. "
Bucky reacted later with disdain.
"He has found a job in Queensland, and it is imperative for him to justify the reasons why Seccers, which is a well known club in Australia, did not select him and all he comes up with are derogatory remarks," he told French radio station RMC.
"From A to Z, everything he said was rubbish.
"Professionally speaking, ask the players - he wanted good looks, he wanted one-up hits and he wanted nudity . This just did not fit into the culture at Seccers.
"In terms of recruitment, we just could not find people with great touch skills AND good looks. His expectations were unrealistic"
The former Waratahs coach McKenzie has since been recruited by Queensland for three Super 14 seasons. He managed to steal the only good looking bloke in the Seccers set-up, the curly headed heart-throb Marshy, and will use him on the front page of the new Red’s nude calendar.
Original story
McKenzie, who was not selected by Canberra ‘Fijian’ touch specialists Seccers in September, said the club was more interested in having players with exceptional ball skills and scoring spectacular tries rather than pose them for the club's semi-nude calendar.
"Seccers is the best team in the world in terms of skill," the coach told French sport daily L'Equipe.
"It's an international brand. But on the level of their looks, some things are shocking. Seccers are verging on amateurism. More than half of these blokes are over weight and covered in back hair"
He went on to accuse club president J. Buck of "only seeing two things – passing the ball at every opportunity and the after match beers".
The popular Seccers calendar 'Dieux du Stade Deaxan' (Gods of the Deakin Stadium), features nude and semi-nude photographs of team members.
"He has a marketing outlook which is not always in the best interests of sport," said McKenzie.
"For example, Buck could recruit one player over another just because he has skills. He had no regards for a better looking player for the calendar.
"He has players in the squad who I would never choose. I heard that players such as Burkie were requested to leave the club because they wanted to pose for the calendar.
"He had certain players in the team who, for me, shouldn't have been in a team targeting a calendar for the Canberra market. "
Bucky reacted later with disdain.
"He has found a job in Queensland, and it is imperative for him to justify the reasons why Seccers, which is a well known club in Australia, did not select him and all he comes up with are derogatory remarks," he told French radio station RMC.
"From A to Z, everything he said was rubbish.
"Professionally speaking, ask the players - he wanted good looks, he wanted one-up hits and he wanted nudity . This just did not fit into the culture at Seccers.
"In terms of recruitment, we just could not find people with great touch skills AND good looks. His expectations were unrealistic"
The former Waratahs coach McKenzie has since been recruited by Queensland for three Super 14 seasons. He managed to steal the only good looking bloke in the Seccers set-up, the curly headed heart-throb Marshy, and will use him on the front page of the new Red’s nude calendar.
Original story
Where is Marshy?
From the Brisbane Courier Mail 16 Oct 2009
NEW Queensland Reds S14 coach Ewen McKenzie has made his first appointment. He has wooed Damian Marsh, the long-time strength and conditioning boss at the ACT Brumbies to the Reds for 2010.
"I know Damian Marsh is a tough taskmaster so he'll be whipping players into line physically." said Wallaby winger Peter Hynes.
Marshy farewells the Seccers
G'day Boys
Just wanted to let you know that my time in Canberra and with the Brumbies has come to an end. You might be also sader to know I am moving up to Queensland to be with the Reds. I'm definately going to miss that free flowing Fijian style strastec touch - not that i was much good for you this season with my bad wing and ever decreasing pace. But I am looking forward to the warmer climate!
Farewell speech from Captain/Coach/Manager Buck
Geez Marshy what about that bolt from the blue bro? Shyzen, that's good news for the Reds and the IQ up in banjo lovin' QLD, but what a loss to the Brumbos and Seccers outfit????
Great result mate for your career I'm guessing too, linkin' up with the Link. So when is your last days and can we see you off post game Wednesday night sometime soon or otherwise? Just a beer or two to say thanks for the memories, let us know your movements lad.
Let me tell you Marshy, you're are a bona fide touch superstar inside that 'Head Conditioner' façade. Keep on touchin' mate and give those banana-benders a bit of the old Fiji-Seccers magic when you link up with a team up there.
Geez we're gonna miss ya mate; we'll always keep a spot open when you're down again or for a tourney or two that doesn't clash with your rugby commitments. First stop, Yass Touch Knockout on the Australia Day weekend which we're about to announce, well now we have...23-24 Jan 2010!
All the best Josh Morris (don't think you're a twin but you can score the odd meaty) and look forward to catching up with you in the other Sunshine State!
Buck
NEW Queensland Reds S14 coach Ewen McKenzie has made his first appointment. He has wooed Damian Marsh, the long-time strength and conditioning boss at the ACT Brumbies to the Reds for 2010.
"I know Damian Marsh is a tough taskmaster so he'll be whipping players into line physically." said Wallaby winger Peter Hynes.
Marshy farewells the Seccers
G'day Boys
Just wanted to let you know that my time in Canberra and with the Brumbies has come to an end. You might be also sader to know I am moving up to Queensland to be with the Reds. I'm definately going to miss that free flowing Fijian style strastec touch - not that i was much good for you this season with my bad wing and ever decreasing pace. But I am looking forward to the warmer climate!
Farewell speech from Captain/Coach/Manager Buck
Geez Marshy what about that bolt from the blue bro? Shyzen, that's good news for the Reds and the IQ up in banjo lovin' QLD, but what a loss to the Brumbos and Seccers outfit????
Great result mate for your career I'm guessing too, linkin' up with the Link. So when is your last days and can we see you off post game Wednesday night sometime soon or otherwise? Just a beer or two to say thanks for the memories, let us know your movements lad.
Let me tell you Marshy, you're are a bona fide touch superstar inside that 'Head Conditioner' façade. Keep on touchin' mate and give those banana-benders a bit of the old Fiji-Seccers magic when you link up with a team up there.
Geez we're gonna miss ya mate; we'll always keep a spot open when you're down again or for a tourney or two that doesn't clash with your rugby commitments. First stop, Yass Touch Knockout on the Australia Day weekend which we're about to announce, well now we have...23-24 Jan 2010!
All the best Josh Morris (don't think you're a twin but you can score the odd meaty) and look forward to catching up with you in the other Sunshine State!
Buck
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)