Seccers went on to win the premiership against Shooters which ended in a brawl, which we also kicked their arses.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A forgotten t-shirt proves costly as Seccers blow the minor premiership
Round 14 Winter - Seccers 3 Allstars 3 (Allstars win 4-3 on missing t-shirt rule)
What happened fellas?
The stars were certainly our of alignment for the last game of the season as a multitude of excuses done us in for the last game of the round, spoiling a potential unbeaten season and surrendering the minor premiership in the penultimate round.
Well, it all started when your correspondent was in the sheds, talking to that midget sized Argentina fellow, who we'll play next week. I was saying we wouldn't be playing them next week in the semi's unless we drop this game. Don't drop it he said. Hey, you never know... I replied. Fark I regret those words now!!!
So it wasn't a great start to the night. Only me and Psycho were there when the game was due to commence. But in quick fire, 1/2 leg Burkie, Grimmo, Andy Schlek and Haydos rocked up and we started with 6. We were huffing and puffing quite early and we were almost glad to see that JJ Buckstar had rolled up, but the boys were screaming at him to take off his tracksuit and hoodie. But it was to be revealed, he had forgotten his t-shirt.
Some sneaky tshirt switcherooing in the sub box was finally noticed by the refs, probably from a tip off from one of the old whining bastards from Allstars. This cost us, what ended up being a vital 1 touchdown and the game.
At that point we had just conceded 2 touchdowns, the first a ridiculous decision after the attacker walked about 5 metres off the mark and they followed up with a forward pass to score in the corner. That's when we realised the ground controller, in his retarded wisdom, had put on a rookie ref who had barely any idea what was going on. But we were more irritated that the more experienced ref James (what is it with shit ref's named james?) who never offered his advice or overruled blatantly obvious mistakes.
There 2nd pie was fair, and we hit back before half time with JJ Buckstar cancelling out his tshirt, putting me over for a soft one.
We clawed our way back and I'm sure we hit the lead with 2 good tries, but in fact it was 3-3. We just needed to hold them the next 6 touches after the tap off, however, Burkie, who appeared to have more than half his leg missing (try one half of his body) inexcusably called JJ Buckman the wrong side to defend, as the Allstars ran the other way for a simple 3 on 2 and touchdown, which proved to be our undoing.
But once again, it was the one that got away. At least 2 touchdowns were in explicitly denied by the refs. One was a joke when JJ Buckstar (seemed to be in everything good and bad) ran past Keithy Brandy who was standing about 3 metres offside and set up the winner. But it was called back, because the little bastard called the touch and the rookie believed him.
And there were many dropped balls and terrible schoolboy forward passes for certain tries.
We should have been winners by 4 or 5, but we sank in the mud, as the lack of subs and the pressure too it's toll.
So we've got a good semi final on our hands again the pretend over ACT 40s. Hopefully we can win a tough battle which can give us a much needed hard game in prep for the GF. But we have to win first.
Let's get there fellas.
Footnote
There was a bit of drama at the end of the game, when one of the Allstars dislocated his finger, and Dr Grimspoon gallantly tried his best to pop it back in for him, but it may have been jammed in further after one of the ex-leaguies in the Allstars team (aka Keith Brandy) thought it looked easy on TV and was seen reefind the finger like it was a popped shoulder. I kind-of felt a little bad after the incident, as at the moment it happened, we were running out of time and the game stopped while he was in obvious pain. "farking hurry up and get off the field, it's not your bloody foot mate..." I said...
What happened fellas?
The stars were certainly our of alignment for the last game of the season as a multitude of excuses done us in for the last game of the round, spoiling a potential unbeaten season and surrendering the minor premiership in the penultimate round.
Well, it all started when your correspondent was in the sheds, talking to that midget sized Argentina fellow, who we'll play next week. I was saying we wouldn't be playing them next week in the semi's unless we drop this game. Don't drop it he said. Hey, you never know... I replied. Fark I regret those words now!!!
So it wasn't a great start to the night. Only me and Psycho were there when the game was due to commence. But in quick fire, 1/2 leg Burkie, Grimmo, Andy Schlek and Haydos rocked up and we started with 6. We were huffing and puffing quite early and we were almost glad to see that JJ Buckstar had rolled up, but the boys were screaming at him to take off his tracksuit and hoodie. But it was to be revealed, he had forgotten his t-shirt.
Some sneaky tshirt switcherooing in the sub box was finally noticed by the refs, probably from a tip off from one of the old whining bastards from Allstars. This cost us, what ended up being a vital 1 touchdown and the game.
At that point we had just conceded 2 touchdowns, the first a ridiculous decision after the attacker walked about 5 metres off the mark and they followed up with a forward pass to score in the corner. That's when we realised the ground controller, in his retarded wisdom, had put on a rookie ref who had barely any idea what was going on. But we were more irritated that the more experienced ref James (what is it with shit ref's named james?) who never offered his advice or overruled blatantly obvious mistakes.
There 2nd pie was fair, and we hit back before half time with JJ Buckstar cancelling out his tshirt, putting me over for a soft one.
We clawed our way back and I'm sure we hit the lead with 2 good tries, but in fact it was 3-3. We just needed to hold them the next 6 touches after the tap off, however, Burkie, who appeared to have more than half his leg missing (try one half of his body) inexcusably called JJ Buckman the wrong side to defend, as the Allstars ran the other way for a simple 3 on 2 and touchdown, which proved to be our undoing.
But once again, it was the one that got away. At least 2 touchdowns were in explicitly denied by the refs. One was a joke when JJ Buckstar (seemed to be in everything good and bad) ran past Keithy Brandy who was standing about 3 metres offside and set up the winner. But it was called back, because the little bastard called the touch and the rookie believed him.
And there were many dropped balls and terrible schoolboy forward passes for certain tries.
We should have been winners by 4 or 5, but we sank in the mud, as the lack of subs and the pressure too it's toll.
So we've got a good semi final on our hands again the pretend over ACT 40s. Hopefully we can win a tough battle which can give us a much needed hard game in prep for the GF. But we have to win first.
Let's get there fellas.
Footnote
There was a bit of drama at the end of the game, when one of the Allstars dislocated his finger, and Dr Grimspoon gallantly tried his best to pop it back in for him, but it may have been jammed in further after one of the ex-leaguies in the Allstars team (aka Keith Brandy) thought it looked easy on TV and was seen reefind the finger like it was a popped shoulder. I kind-of felt a little bad after the incident, as at the moment it happened, we were running out of time and the game stopped while he was in obvious pain. "farking hurry up and get off the field, it's not your bloody foot mate..." I said...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Rain is no problems for the Seccernaut
Round 13 Winter - Seccers 5 Cruciates 2
Someone will have to fill in the details of the first half as I rocked up a bit late.
The boys did it tough with no subs, then 1 and finally 2 for the second half. The half time score was 1-0 to the good guys in the constant rain.
After the break we were denied a certain try when the wee lass of a referee forgot the 5m rule as the lazy defender was minced meat. And then the Soulmann had a little implosion as he put on a dolly 2 handed touch which was fell into the trap as the opposition acted it up well and sucked in the penalty, which ended up resulting in a soft try down the wing on the following play. Scores 1-1 and the opposition had a sniff.
But the Seccers were soon back in control with some nice backline moves and opened up a 2 try lead with some good hands by the JJ Buckstar, Andy Shleck, X-man and the rest. Grimmo's hammy looked on the mend, although it might be still a bit shorter than the other, as he mistimed his run for a possible try down the blind side and ended up going in circles. And Psycho and Haydos were at it again, but they couldn't quite nail the try after more of their fancy duo work. Woody MoiMoi was his usual self, but he appeared to be more interested in flirting with our first female ref of the season (note, she said she was going to tell his missus, who she knew apparently). She actually ref'd quite well and handled the gibber calmly and rejected the MoiMoi's advances with the correct penalties.
Another soft try to Cruciates, simply marking up incorrectly by us, gave them another sniff and 3-2, but more sweet Seccers backline play had them again on the ropes with 2 more scores and the game secured at 5-2
It was a hard fought victory. Excellent hands despite the weather. But no beers as the damp began to rise and people headed for home.
Last round game next week, and then the semi finals!
Someone will have to fill in the details of the first half as I rocked up a bit late.
The boys did it tough with no subs, then 1 and finally 2 for the second half. The half time score was 1-0 to the good guys in the constant rain.
After the break we were denied a certain try when the wee lass of a referee forgot the 5m rule as the lazy defender was minced meat. And then the Soulmann had a little implosion as he put on a dolly 2 handed touch which was fell into the trap as the opposition acted it up well and sucked in the penalty, which ended up resulting in a soft try down the wing on the following play. Scores 1-1 and the opposition had a sniff.
But the Seccers were soon back in control with some nice backline moves and opened up a 2 try lead with some good hands by the JJ Buckstar, Andy Shleck, X-man and the rest. Grimmo's hammy looked on the mend, although it might be still a bit shorter than the other, as he mistimed his run for a possible try down the blind side and ended up going in circles. And Psycho and Haydos were at it again, but they couldn't quite nail the try after more of their fancy duo work. Woody MoiMoi was his usual self, but he appeared to be more interested in flirting with our first female ref of the season (note, she said she was going to tell his missus, who she knew apparently). She actually ref'd quite well and handled the gibber calmly and rejected the MoiMoi's advances with the correct penalties.
Another soft try to Cruciates, simply marking up incorrectly by us, gave them another sniff and 3-2, but more sweet Seccers backline play had them again on the ropes with 2 more scores and the game secured at 5-2
It was a hard fought victory. Excellent hands despite the weather. But no beers as the damp began to rise and people headed for home.
Last round game next week, and then the semi finals!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Seccers all hands as Buckstar finds a roll of duct tape in his shorts
Round 12 Winter - Seccers 11 Invision Saints 4
So what happened last week?
The first thing I saw, as I rocked up a few minutes after the kickoff, was a razzle dazzling display of Fijiness from Billy Haydos and world record holder Psycho (who was wearing his world champ Rainbow boxer shorts). The 2 put on a show of flick passes, over the head lobs, switches, wrap arounds, you name it, until one of them finally scored this sensational try!
And that was enough for Haydos, as he was quiet again after his traditional huge run and he even decided not to show up in the second half. But he did put a couple of hits on the short whingy bloke from the Saints to wind him up evermore.
The game saw a comeback from the X Man, who put on a solid display and looked quite fit and trim after his long lay off.
But lets focus on the ref, who lets face it, thought the game was all about him and made many decisions that had both camps mightily confused or annoyed. Take for example, when he blew his whistle and called my number repeatedly. I didn't know what the hell he was going on about - surely I was onside - but it turns out the he took a liking to my earring and demanded to wear it before he let play go on. JJ Buckstar magically pulled a huge roll of duct tape out of his playing shorts (accounted for the large packet at the front), threw it over to yours truly, and asked me to gaffa his mellon. I certainly gave the ref a gob full and he pretty much left me along after that.
We were without some of the superstars, including the former world record holder Burkie, who's leg has become withered and gammy and unplayable. And there was Rupes, who's priorities have change and he was playing on the next field for his other team (with absolutely no atmosphere and no Fiji excitement). This treachery was best summed up by Burkie a few days later who said "You are f@#king kidding Rupes????" and Grimmo, who pointed out "What happened to the promised dozen coldies".
But there was a new import, that Rupes is taking credit for recruiting, the young Bowen aka Andy Schleck with his yellow cycle shoes. He put on a fine show with some speed out wide, which was actually a bonus with Rupes missing...
However, back to the ref. We would have scored another sensational try as WRH Psycho, who hit a hole on the burst as yours truly somehow popped the ball up as he headed to the dirt, reached back and somehow caught the ball and dived over. This was all too tricky for the ref who called forward pass because it was too unbelievable for him. Bad call sunshine.
I remember a great solo effort from Woody MoiMoi who's long gadget arms snavelled up an intercept from nothing.
And I remember most of our tries were just simple, wraps, draw the man, pop the pass, quick hands out wide. Simple. Stylish. Effective. In fact on one occasion, we were busting our guts trying to run this way and that, moving the opposition around but just couldn't get through. But then we received a penalty (for our hard earned work) and on the first play we just sent it out the backline and scored without some much of a whimper. It was a bit anti climactic actually.
So that brings me to the next game, which should be a reasonable challenge against the Cruciates who are now running 4th. But every teams seems to be running 4th until they meet us... The previous encounter was a 7-4 win to us, as we struggled with the gay lebanese ref and Burkies incessant dummies. Reminisce about it here.
Then it's one more game to complete the home and away series, against Allstars who are 5th.
The current ladder now has it's own page - there is a link at the top of the blog.
So what happened last week?
The first thing I saw, as I rocked up a few minutes after the kickoff, was a razzle dazzling display of Fijiness from Billy Haydos and world record holder Psycho (who was wearing his world champ Rainbow boxer shorts). The 2 put on a show of flick passes, over the head lobs, switches, wrap arounds, you name it, until one of them finally scored this sensational try!
And that was enough for Haydos, as he was quiet again after his traditional huge run and he even decided not to show up in the second half. But he did put a couple of hits on the short whingy bloke from the Saints to wind him up evermore.
The game saw a comeback from the X Man, who put on a solid display and looked quite fit and trim after his long lay off.
But lets focus on the ref, who lets face it, thought the game was all about him and made many decisions that had both camps mightily confused or annoyed. Take for example, when he blew his whistle and called my number repeatedly. I didn't know what the hell he was going on about - surely I was onside - but it turns out the he took a liking to my earring and demanded to wear it before he let play go on. JJ Buckstar magically pulled a huge roll of duct tape out of his playing shorts (accounted for the large packet at the front), threw it over to yours truly, and asked me to gaffa his mellon. I certainly gave the ref a gob full and he pretty much left me along after that.
We were without some of the superstars, including the former world record holder Burkie, who's leg has become withered and gammy and unplayable. And there was Rupes, who's priorities have change and he was playing on the next field for his other team (with absolutely no atmosphere and no Fiji excitement). This treachery was best summed up by Burkie a few days later who said "You are f@#king kidding Rupes????" and Grimmo, who pointed out "What happened to the promised dozen coldies".
But there was a new import, that Rupes is taking credit for recruiting, the young Bowen aka Andy Schleck with his yellow cycle shoes. He put on a fine show with some speed out wide, which was actually a bonus with Rupes missing...
However, back to the ref. We would have scored another sensational try as WRH Psycho, who hit a hole on the burst as yours truly somehow popped the ball up as he headed to the dirt, reached back and somehow caught the ball and dived over. This was all too tricky for the ref who called forward pass because it was too unbelievable for him. Bad call sunshine.
I remember a great solo effort from Woody MoiMoi who's long gadget arms snavelled up an intercept from nothing.
And I remember most of our tries were just simple, wraps, draw the man, pop the pass, quick hands out wide. Simple. Stylish. Effective. In fact on one occasion, we were busting our guts trying to run this way and that, moving the opposition around but just couldn't get through. But then we received a penalty (for our hard earned work) and on the first play we just sent it out the backline and scored without some much of a whimper. It was a bit anti climactic actually.
So that brings me to the next game, which should be a reasonable challenge against the Cruciates who are now running 4th. But every teams seems to be running 4th until they meet us... The previous encounter was a 7-4 win to us, as we struggled with the gay lebanese ref and Burkies incessant dummies. Reminisce about it here.
Then it's one more game to complete the home and away series, against Allstars who are 5th.
The current ladder now has it's own page - there is a link at the top of the blog.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Nine is the new world record
Round 10 Winter - Seccers 14 Hammer Time 2
A shattered Tim Burkles has handed over his touchdown world record (of 7) to Mike 'The Psycho' Sykes in a scintillating display which saw him bag 9 touchdowns to smash the record.
The new record was ironically achieved against the same team that Burkie made his mark in Round 1 (see Burkie's 7 sets new record in ninja nightmare).
Surely the Seccers must go down in history as the most prolific of prolific scorers.
Other notable mentions was a complete turnaround in JJ Buckstar's game attitude, showing such compassion and allowing a decent young kid, showing lots of promise, to get a consolation meatie to keep his hopes up. JJ Soulmann was not so kind and made the poor kid chase him all the way, but still score in the last inch of the corner with the kid mm's away from a heroic effort, despite the calls from Woody and Grimspoon to call the touch anyway. "Stick your hand up kid" said Grim.
And there was another guest appearance of the deadly sniper who shot out Grimpsoon's hammy close to his bum and he fell over in a messy heap. But he still courageously played on, defending on the wing to keep 6 players on the paddock.
So congrats to Psycho for his 9. It's going to be hard to beat.
A shattered Tim Burkles has handed over his touchdown world record (of 7) to Mike 'The Psycho' Sykes in a scintillating display which saw him bag 9 touchdowns to smash the record.
The new record was ironically achieved against the same team that Burkie made his mark in Round 1 (see Burkie's 7 sets new record in ninja nightmare).
Surely the Seccers must go down in history as the most prolific of prolific scorers.
Summer 2008-09 - Woody moi moi 1 touchdown in a game
Summer 2008-09 - Haydos 4 touchdowns in a game
Summer 2009-10 - Soulmann 6 touchdowns in a game
Winter 2010 - Burkie 7 touchdowns in a game
Winter 2010 - Psycho 9 touchdowns in a gameWith only 6 players for the entire game (starting with only 5 for the first 10 minutes) there were less players to compete for the meat pies. Not that it made much difference as JJ Buckstar and Woody Moi Moi were scoreless in the thumping. But Psycho was in everything. You'd think he was hogging the ball and taking it easy in defence to rest up for another crack. far from it. He was chasing his ring around defending the middle and then the he'd turn defence into attack scoring each and everyone of his tries from long range runs, mostly solo efforts. In fact his tally could have been 10 or 11 cept for a couple of dropped balls as he started to choke up as the record got nearer.
Other notable mentions was a complete turnaround in JJ Buckstar's game attitude, showing such compassion and allowing a decent young kid, showing lots of promise, to get a consolation meatie to keep his hopes up. JJ Soulmann was not so kind and made the poor kid chase him all the way, but still score in the last inch of the corner with the kid mm's away from a heroic effort, despite the calls from Woody and Grimspoon to call the touch anyway. "Stick your hand up kid" said Grim.
And there was another guest appearance of the deadly sniper who shot out Grimpsoon's hammy close to his bum and he fell over in a messy heap. But he still courageously played on, defending on the wing to keep 6 players on the paddock.
So congrats to Psycho for his 9. It's going to be hard to beat.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
SERVER RACKS SERVED UP ON A STRATSEC PLATTER
Round 9 Winter - Seccers 8 Server Racks 3
by Rupes
The game started off a little slowly with only 2-3 players on hand at 6.50 kick-off time. By the time we actually started 5 mins later we had 5 players with several on the way across the fields/road.
We ended up with a total of 9 players and were missing the big guns of Messrs Collet, Stejskal, Crossman and the little guns of the Mann. We welcomed the great man - Seagull who was looking for a pre-match warm-up.
The ACT 0/40’s aka the Server Racks, clicked straight into gear and quickly crossed the stripe for their first. From then on it was a few for the good guys with both sides trying to assert their Masters superiority.
We lost the spring chicken Bourkie just before oranges with a sniper or was that a hole, getting him in the calf. Someone asked him if it was bad and he answered in the affirmative - “Yeah it is bad”.
3-1 at drinks I think.
The second half started like the first with the ‘guns’ coming up with 2 to get back to deuce. And then all of a sudden the wind changed. Absolute vintage footy was the order of the night. I would have to say it was probably the best 20 mins ever played by the boys. The Oompahs had no answer to the switches, dummies, hard running, dives, defence, wrap arounds.
Final score 8-3 and the Seccer's boys walked off in quiet jubilation.
Some other notable highlights were:
Notable quotes from the post match press conference:
Ladder after Round 9
All teams have played each other now and the top 2 teams look likely grand final contenders for another spiteful affair. Surprisingly Tigers fell out of the 4 with a surprise draw with Cruciates.
by Rupes
The game started off a little slowly with only 2-3 players on hand at 6.50 kick-off time. By the time we actually started 5 mins later we had 5 players with several on the way across the fields/road.
We ended up with a total of 9 players and were missing the big guns of Messrs Collet, Stejskal, Crossman and the little guns of the Mann. We welcomed the great man - Seagull who was looking for a pre-match warm-up.
The ACT 0/40’s aka the Server Racks, clicked straight into gear and quickly crossed the stripe for their first. From then on it was a few for the good guys with both sides trying to assert their Masters superiority.
We lost the spring chicken Bourkie just before oranges with a sniper or was that a hole, getting him in the calf. Someone asked him if it was bad and he answered in the affirmative - “Yeah it is bad”.
3-1 at drinks I think.
The second half started like the first with the ‘guns’ coming up with 2 to get back to deuce. And then all of a sudden the wind changed. Absolute vintage footy was the order of the night. I would have to say it was probably the best 20 mins ever played by the boys. The Oompahs had no answer to the switches, dummies, hard running, dives, defence, wrap arounds.
Final score 8-3 and the Seccer's boys walked off in quiet jubilation.
Some other notable highlights were:
- Woody running on the treadmill and his classic tap up intercept,
- Seagull scoring a try while crawling the last 5 metres,
- the CEO and Rupes getting down low and go,go,go and
- JJbuckbuck talking jibber to the refs for 50 mins straight.
Late in the game, one of Server Rack's Argentinian superstars ran on with one of those fcuking annoying plastic vuvuzela's to change the momentum of the game, but he was swiftly dealt with by Zinedine Zidane, whose guest appearance for the Seccers earned a rousing reception from the players.
(click the photo to see the video replay of the incident)
(click the photo to see the video replay of the incident)
Notable quotes from the post match press conference:
- Burkie said "Honestly all those tries were genuine tries where numbers were created and their defence exploited. All except Cody’s try from a tap. Seriously how could they let that happen! Next thing you know we’ll be scoring off maggots!"
- JJ from Good Times’ said "DYNOMITE !!"
- Grimspoon said "Lets just say, the mens “ACT over 40s” team…is highly over rated! - And we don’t train either!"
- JJ Buck said "The real ACT o'40s team smashed them with no less than 5 o'40s stars either crook or awol! What might the score have been w all the boys on deck?? Coach killer these stratsec legends!!"
- Willy said "Interesting call there Grim. By the sounds of it our nemesis teams are all whippets. Does hitting the pavement count or lifting weights like you mean it matter??"
Ladder after Round 9
All teams have played each other now and the top 2 teams look likely grand final contenders for another spiteful affair. Surprisingly Tigers fell out of the 4 with a surprise draw with Cruciates.
POS TEAM P W L D B BP FF For Ag Diff PC Pts
1 Seccers 9 8 0 1 0 0 0 76 21 55 361.90 26
2 Shooters TFC 9 7 0 2 0 0 0 66 37 29 178.38 25
3 Server Racks 9 6 3 0 0 0 0 70 32 38 218.75 21
4 Cruciates 9 5 3 1 0 0 0 58 35 23 165.71 20
5 Analytic Allstars 9 4 3 2 0 0 0 66 40 26 165.00 19
6 Tiger Electrics 9 5 2 1 0 0 1 60 41 19 146.34 19
7 Ninja Cats TFC 9 2 6 1 0 0 0 33 70 -37 47.14 14
8 Invision Saints 9 2 7 0 0 0 0 46 74 -28 62.16 13
9 HTW 9 2 7 0 0 0 0 26 79 -53 32.91 13
10 Hammer Time 9 0 9 0 0 0 0 17 89 -72 19.10 9
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