Burkie's 7 sets new record in ninja nightmare

Round 1 Winter - Seccers 14 Hammer Time 0

What a welcome back to competition in the opening round of the season with a nailing of the Hammer Time while Burkie's new world record 7 touchdowns made it a nightmare night for the nail bashers.

Burkie went ballastic in the first half of no subs, scoring 4 meaties in the first 10 minutes. He had his eyes firmly set on busting the Soulmann's 6 try record from last season, and finally achieved his feat late in the game despite the 2nd half tactical change to starve him of possession.

And he could have stretched the record to 7 tries on the bell, but Rupes wisely dummied to Burkie in a 2 on 1, 15m out with a certain try on, and decided instead to throw the ball over his head.

There were great performances all round.

• Will with magic hands all game and his GI Joe beard (and an unusual double try offered by the ref who asked him if he'd like to score twice in the same play.
• JJ Buck and his impeccable timing in defence (only got caught out twice).
• The uncanny X-Man making his long awaited comeback and holding on to more balls than he dropped (on countback).
• Puffing Billy who kept on steaming along to a few meaties.
• Sean 'Bogut' Wood's extraordinary dive to score a meaty which was followed up by an unusual jump which saw him land his melon on the head of his opponent and split open his own chin in the process, sending him to the sideline to drink his half time lolly though a straw.
• Grimspoon's & Rupes's strange play to 'pass the parcel' with the ball, instead of turning around and rolling the goddam thing
• And the Soulmann's queer fascination with the opposition player's cramped up leg. Must have been a 'skins' camaraderie thing.

So we enjoyed our turn around in fortunes. Blood oath it feels a lot better winning by 14, than being pummelled by the same margin. Pity there were no beers to savour the moment and to celebrate the 7 from heaven. JJ Buck, don't be shy with your eclectic collection of stow away beers...