Round 3 - Seccers break the no.1 golden rule of Seccers Club

Seccers 7 Tiger Electrics 6

The 2 main outcomes of the struggling hard fought victory over the Tigers was that:

1. Seccers broke their no.1 golden rule of Seccers Club, and
2. You have a test due at 6.40pm Wednesday 11/11/09

The Golden Rules of Seccers Club
1. You don't talk touch tactics* in the post mortem beers
2. Score more tries that the other team

* acceptable beers discussion can include talking up your team mates great tries and defensive efforts, laughing at how you nearly caused an on field fight, how cleverly you disintegrated an opponent mentally or how bad the referee was.

Our struggle against the less fancied opponents had the so called 'touch professionals' dramatically re-enacting defensive plays with drink bottles and playing shoes and much intense discussion of how only the middle players must defend and the wingers are allowed to bludge out wide.

Following this 'discussion' chief lecturer Rupes issued a test that all players must complete. You must, in 500 words or more, discuss the "Anthropological merits of the defensive patterns of migratory wingers".

Full marks though to Grimmo, who was distracted easily and tapped on your correspondent's shoulder, ignoring the discussion, and said "will you have a look at this piece over there". And a tall Amazonian lass playing mixed in the next game, saunters past. Our new found concentration and hypnotic spell was only broken as she attempted to run and she looked rather knocked-knee'd.

So to the game itself, and another sluggish first half saw us claw back to a 4-4 halftime score. The pedantic intense referee once again got under the noses of the Seccers. When the referee announced the score of 4 all at the start of the 2nd half, Woody cleverly asked the referee "to which team?", which had the ref struggling for an answer. This witty sledge provided the only moral victory Seccers had all night with the ref.

2 early 2nd half tries had the Seccers in deep deep trouble. However, there was another legendary fightback. Led by Captain JBuck, who refused to leave the field "until the job was done" the Seccers hit back in rapid response with 3 pies in 3 or so minutes. This proved the difference as the Seccers held on under a mounting penalty count which saw us camped on our own try line for 4 or 5 sets from ridiculous penalties such as 'being a goose for missing a touch', 'not encouraging the opponent to go back 5 metres and play the ball safely out of the reach of our marauding pack' and 'touching with your left hand instead of your right'.

Man of the match was definitely the ref, who found fault at nearly everything we did, but turned a blind eye to the opposition. Was he treating us differently because we looked like elite athletes ready to rip into a fury of fiji touch, and wanted to bring us down a notch or too? Tall poppy syndrome? (we have a few tall poppies). Or did he pity the team that either looked under-fed rodents (who always seem to give us trouble), or obese ex-leaguies who have let themselves go?

The other highlight was when the normally mild mannered Woody got stirred up into a rage and bitch pushed the annoying skinny kid who had given him a gob for the temerity of being cleverly touched. But despite the ref providing the opportunity for both of them to take it further off the field with both being forced subbed, and the youngster snivelling behind his back that he's going to take him on, the action fizzled out as Woody became his diplomatic self again and asked the kid if he'd like him to call his mummy.

In other news, Seccers CEO and occasional player Stuey and his side kick Woody (pictured left) took out the 'best sideline move by hairy backed players' in the 2009 Hirsute Achievement awards.