Round 12 Winter - Seccers 11 Invision Saints 4
So what happened last week?
The first thing I saw, as I rocked up a few minutes after the kickoff, was a razzle dazzling display of Fijiness from Billy Haydos and world record holder Psycho (who was wearing his world champ Rainbow boxer shorts). The 2 put on a show of flick passes, over the head lobs, switches, wrap arounds, you name it, until one of them finally scored this sensational try!
And that was enough for Haydos, as he was quiet again after his traditional huge run and he even decided not to show up in the second half. But he did put a couple of hits on the short whingy bloke from the Saints to wind him up evermore.
The game saw a comeback from the X Man, who put on a solid display and looked quite fit and trim after his long lay off.
But lets focus on the ref, who lets face it, thought the game was all about him and made many decisions that had both camps mightily confused or annoyed. Take for example, when he blew his whistle and called my number repeatedly. I didn't know what the hell he was going on about - surely I was onside - but it turns out the he took a liking to my earring and demanded to wear it before he let play go on. JJ Buckstar magically pulled a huge roll of duct tape out of his playing shorts (accounted for the large packet at the front), threw it over to yours truly, and asked me to gaffa his mellon. I certainly gave the ref a gob full and he pretty much left me along after that.
We were without some of the superstars, including the former world record holder Burkie, who's leg has become withered and gammy and unplayable. And there was Rupes, who's priorities have change and he was playing on the next field for his other team (with absolutely no atmosphere and no Fiji excitement). This treachery was best summed up by Burkie a few days later who said "You are f@#king kidding Rupes????" and Grimmo, who pointed out "What happened to the promised dozen coldies".
But there was a new import, that Rupes is taking credit for recruiting, the young Bowen aka Andy Schleck with his yellow cycle shoes. He put on a fine show with some speed out wide, which was actually a bonus with Rupes missing...
However, back to the ref. We would have scored another sensational try as WRH Psycho, who hit a hole on the burst as yours truly somehow popped the ball up as he headed to the dirt, reached back and somehow caught the ball and dived over. This was all too tricky for the ref who called forward pass because it was too unbelievable for him. Bad call sunshine.
I remember a great solo effort from Woody MoiMoi who's long gadget arms snavelled up an intercept from nothing.
And I remember most of our tries were just simple, wraps, draw the man, pop the pass, quick hands out wide. Simple. Stylish. Effective. In fact on one occasion, we were busting our guts trying to run this way and that, moving the opposition around but just couldn't get through. But then we received a penalty (for our hard earned work) and on the first play we just sent it out the backline and scored without some much of a whimper. It was a bit anti climactic actually.
So that brings me to the next game, which should be a reasonable challenge against the Cruciates who are now running 4th. But every teams seems to be running 4th until they meet us... The previous encounter was a 7-4 win to us, as we struggled with the gay lebanese ref and Burkies incessant dummies. Reminisce about it here.
Then it's one more game to complete the home and away series, against Allstars who are 5th.
The current ladder now has it's own page - there is a link at the top of the blog.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Nine is the new world record
Round 10 Winter - Seccers 14 Hammer Time 2
A shattered Tim Burkles has handed over his touchdown world record (of 7) to Mike 'The Psycho' Sykes in a scintillating display which saw him bag 9 touchdowns to smash the record.
The new record was ironically achieved against the same team that Burkie made his mark in Round 1 (see Burkie's 7 sets new record in ninja nightmare).
Surely the Seccers must go down in history as the most prolific of prolific scorers.
Other notable mentions was a complete turnaround in JJ Buckstar's game attitude, showing such compassion and allowing a decent young kid, showing lots of promise, to get a consolation meatie to keep his hopes up. JJ Soulmann was not so kind and made the poor kid chase him all the way, but still score in the last inch of the corner with the kid mm's away from a heroic effort, despite the calls from Woody and Grimspoon to call the touch anyway. "Stick your hand up kid" said Grim.
And there was another guest appearance of the deadly sniper who shot out Grimpsoon's hammy close to his bum and he fell over in a messy heap. But he still courageously played on, defending on the wing to keep 6 players on the paddock.
So congrats to Psycho for his 9. It's going to be hard to beat.
A shattered Tim Burkles has handed over his touchdown world record (of 7) to Mike 'The Psycho' Sykes in a scintillating display which saw him bag 9 touchdowns to smash the record.
The new record was ironically achieved against the same team that Burkie made his mark in Round 1 (see Burkie's 7 sets new record in ninja nightmare).
Surely the Seccers must go down in history as the most prolific of prolific scorers.
Summer 2008-09 - Woody moi moi 1 touchdown in a game
Summer 2008-09 - Haydos 4 touchdowns in a game
Summer 2009-10 - Soulmann 6 touchdowns in a game
Winter 2010 - Burkie 7 touchdowns in a game
Winter 2010 - Psycho 9 touchdowns in a gameWith only 6 players for the entire game (starting with only 5 for the first 10 minutes) there were less players to compete for the meat pies. Not that it made much difference as JJ Buckstar and Woody Moi Moi were scoreless in the thumping. But Psycho was in everything. You'd think he was hogging the ball and taking it easy in defence to rest up for another crack. far from it. He was chasing his ring around defending the middle and then the he'd turn defence into attack scoring each and everyone of his tries from long range runs, mostly solo efforts. In fact his tally could have been 10 or 11 cept for a couple of dropped balls as he started to choke up as the record got nearer.
Other notable mentions was a complete turnaround in JJ Buckstar's game attitude, showing such compassion and allowing a decent young kid, showing lots of promise, to get a consolation meatie to keep his hopes up. JJ Soulmann was not so kind and made the poor kid chase him all the way, but still score in the last inch of the corner with the kid mm's away from a heroic effort, despite the calls from Woody and Grimspoon to call the touch anyway. "Stick your hand up kid" said Grim.
And there was another guest appearance of the deadly sniper who shot out Grimpsoon's hammy close to his bum and he fell over in a messy heap. But he still courageously played on, defending on the wing to keep 6 players on the paddock.
So congrats to Psycho for his 9. It's going to be hard to beat.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
SERVER RACKS SERVED UP ON A STRATSEC PLATTER
Round 9 Winter - Seccers 8 Server Racks 3
by Rupes
The game started off a little slowly with only 2-3 players on hand at 6.50 kick-off time. By the time we actually started 5 mins later we had 5 players with several on the way across the fields/road.
We ended up with a total of 9 players and were missing the big guns of Messrs Collet, Stejskal, Crossman and the little guns of the Mann. We welcomed the great man - Seagull who was looking for a pre-match warm-up.
The ACT 0/40’s aka the Server Racks, clicked straight into gear and quickly crossed the stripe for their first. From then on it was a few for the good guys with both sides trying to assert their Masters superiority.
We lost the spring chicken Bourkie just before oranges with a sniper or was that a hole, getting him in the calf. Someone asked him if it was bad and he answered in the affirmative - “Yeah it is bad”.
3-1 at drinks I think.
The second half started like the first with the ‘guns’ coming up with 2 to get back to deuce. And then all of a sudden the wind changed. Absolute vintage footy was the order of the night. I would have to say it was probably the best 20 mins ever played by the boys. The Oompahs had no answer to the switches, dummies, hard running, dives, defence, wrap arounds.
Final score 8-3 and the Seccer's boys walked off in quiet jubilation.
Some other notable highlights were:
Notable quotes from the post match press conference:
Ladder after Round 9
All teams have played each other now and the top 2 teams look likely grand final contenders for another spiteful affair. Surprisingly Tigers fell out of the 4 with a surprise draw with Cruciates.
by Rupes
The game started off a little slowly with only 2-3 players on hand at 6.50 kick-off time. By the time we actually started 5 mins later we had 5 players with several on the way across the fields/road.
We ended up with a total of 9 players and were missing the big guns of Messrs Collet, Stejskal, Crossman and the little guns of the Mann. We welcomed the great man - Seagull who was looking for a pre-match warm-up.
The ACT 0/40’s aka the Server Racks, clicked straight into gear and quickly crossed the stripe for their first. From then on it was a few for the good guys with both sides trying to assert their Masters superiority.
We lost the spring chicken Bourkie just before oranges with a sniper or was that a hole, getting him in the calf. Someone asked him if it was bad and he answered in the affirmative - “Yeah it is bad”.
3-1 at drinks I think.
The second half started like the first with the ‘guns’ coming up with 2 to get back to deuce. And then all of a sudden the wind changed. Absolute vintage footy was the order of the night. I would have to say it was probably the best 20 mins ever played by the boys. The Oompahs had no answer to the switches, dummies, hard running, dives, defence, wrap arounds.
Final score 8-3 and the Seccer's boys walked off in quiet jubilation.
Some other notable highlights were:
- Woody running on the treadmill and his classic tap up intercept,
- Seagull scoring a try while crawling the last 5 metres,
- the CEO and Rupes getting down low and go,go,go and
- JJbuckbuck talking jibber to the refs for 50 mins straight.
Late in the game, one of Server Rack's Argentinian superstars ran on with one of those fcuking annoying plastic vuvuzela's to change the momentum of the game, but he was swiftly dealt with by Zinedine Zidane, whose guest appearance for the Seccers earned a rousing reception from the players.
(click the photo to see the video replay of the incident)
(click the photo to see the video replay of the incident)
Notable quotes from the post match press conference:
- Burkie said "Honestly all those tries were genuine tries where numbers were created and their defence exploited. All except Cody’s try from a tap. Seriously how could they let that happen! Next thing you know we’ll be scoring off maggots!"
- JJ from Good Times’ said "DYNOMITE !!"
- Grimspoon said "Lets just say, the mens “ACT over 40s” team…is highly over rated! - And we don’t train either!"
- JJ Buck said "The real ACT o'40s team smashed them with no less than 5 o'40s stars either crook or awol! What might the score have been w all the boys on deck?? Coach killer these stratsec legends!!"
- Willy said "Interesting call there Grim. By the sounds of it our nemesis teams are all whippets. Does hitting the pavement count or lifting weights like you mean it matter??"
Ladder after Round 9
All teams have played each other now and the top 2 teams look likely grand final contenders for another spiteful affair. Surprisingly Tigers fell out of the 4 with a surprise draw with Cruciates.
POS TEAM P W L D B BP FF For Ag Diff PC Pts
1 Seccers 9 8 0 1 0 0 0 76 21 55 361.90 26
2 Shooters TFC 9 7 0 2 0 0 0 66 37 29 178.38 25
3 Server Racks 9 6 3 0 0 0 0 70 32 38 218.75 21
4 Cruciates 9 5 3 1 0 0 0 58 35 23 165.71 20
5 Analytic Allstars 9 4 3 2 0 0 0 66 40 26 165.00 19
6 Tiger Electrics 9 5 2 1 0 0 1 60 41 19 146.34 19
7 Ninja Cats TFC 9 2 6 1 0 0 0 33 70 -37 47.14 14
8 Invision Saints 9 2 7 0 0 0 0 46 74 -28 62.16 13
9 HTW 9 2 7 0 0 0 0 26 79 -53 32.91 13
10 Hammer Time 9 0 9 0 0 0 0 17 89 -72 19.10 9
Leaving touchdowns on the paddock yet again
Round 8 Winter - Seccers 5 Tiger Electrics 2
No proper blog for this round unfortunately.
It's been a few weeks since the event, but this is what I remember:
No proper blog for this round unfortunately.
It's been a few weeks since the event, but this is what I remember:
- again it was a case of leaving a lot of touchdowns on the paddock - if it weren't for our dodgy finishing, we would be creaming the fellow top teams by 10....
- there was another bulldozing billy haydos run (of course only one) which resulted in another fine try to the opening touchman
- Woody scored one of his trademark tries (and showed up with yet another cut on his head with stitches recently removed)
- The Greyhound from the opposition was well and truly marked out of the game
we never really looked in trouble, except for 2 soft tries just before halftime
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Courage, ticker, never say die, great moves, great defence, bombed tries, broken noses...
Round 7 Winter - Seccers 5 Mafia Shooters 5
Courage, ticker, never say die, great moves, great defence, bombed tries, broken noses, mouthy wogboys, knee deep mud, the return of the slightly larger boss... It was a game that had it all.
[I forgot to mention - this was the top of the table clash with both teams undefeated]
Seccers were down 1-3 early in the first half as they exploited our weakness of shortside defence. And there was an arsey backwards over the head pass that caught us by surprise.
However another barnstorming run by Billy Haydos kick-started the fightback.
Seccers hit the lead at 4-3 shortly after break, but we could have blown away the 'passionate' italians if not for 4 or 5 bombed touchdowns over the line. Imagine how much they would have fought themselves if those tries had stuck.
But the score could have also blown out the other way if not for some great defence.
The best 2 were Woody's professional foul ball & all tackle on the wing which saved a certain try. Lucky the soulman tipped off the ref that he slipped in the mud. That excuse also probably saved Frankenwood from being beaten up by the irate Mediterranean and avoided another trip to the hospital for a stitch-up repair job.
Unfortunately the same could not be said for Haydos who put his nose on the line with a try stopper. But instead of his plan to beat up some olives, his dive resulted in a bloody nose from a stray boot. After the game Xman asked Haydos if his nose was always this bent. Soulman made it worse by saying the same thing almost word for word. Hey, it had a bigger bend than Beckham.
It was back to 4-4 before Seccers looked to have sealed the game with a pass that finally stuck. But it was not to be as the one and only penalty for mouthing (no surprises it was JJ Buck), after the olive boys had been getting away with it all game, led to the 5-5 equaliser.
So we are still undefeated & it makes for an interesting finals series with a possible rematch on the cards.
Awesome turn-up for the big game lads.
Postscript.
I had to ref with Pierre in the next game. At halftime after he explained why he penalised 10 people for rolling the ball incorrectly & how he made the top 24 refs in Dubbo...
I said "anyway back to our game, that was a shit penalising us for mouthing."
he says he "gave both teams a warning".
"but they were the only team doing it you pillock & you penalise our first offence for telling one of them to shut up".
"that could have caused a fight he said".
"shut up..."
Ladder
Courage, ticker, never say die, great moves, great defence, bombed tries, broken noses, mouthy wogboys, knee deep mud, the return of the slightly larger boss... It was a game that had it all.
[I forgot to mention - this was the top of the table clash with both teams undefeated]
Seccers were down 1-3 early in the first half as they exploited our weakness of shortside defence. And there was an arsey backwards over the head pass that caught us by surprise.
However another barnstorming run by Billy Haydos kick-started the fightback.
Seccers hit the lead at 4-3 shortly after break, but we could have blown away the 'passionate' italians if not for 4 or 5 bombed touchdowns over the line. Imagine how much they would have fought themselves if those tries had stuck.
But the score could have also blown out the other way if not for some great defence.
The best 2 were Woody's professional foul ball & all tackle on the wing which saved a certain try. Lucky the soulman tipped off the ref that he slipped in the mud. That excuse also probably saved Frankenwood from being beaten up by the irate Mediterranean and avoided another trip to the hospital for a stitch-up repair job.
Unfortunately the same could not be said for Haydos who put his nose on the line with a try stopper. But instead of his plan to beat up some olives, his dive resulted in a bloody nose from a stray boot. After the game Xman asked Haydos if his nose was always this bent. Soulman made it worse by saying the same thing almost word for word. Hey, it had a bigger bend than Beckham.
It was back to 4-4 before Seccers looked to have sealed the game with a pass that finally stuck. But it was not to be as the one and only penalty for mouthing (no surprises it was JJ Buck), after the olive boys had been getting away with it all game, led to the 5-5 equaliser.
So we are still undefeated & it makes for an interesting finals series with a possible rematch on the cards.
Awesome turn-up for the big game lads.
Postscript.
I had to ref with Pierre in the next game. At halftime after he explained why he penalised 10 people for rolling the ball incorrectly & how he made the top 24 refs in Dubbo...
I said "anyway back to our game, that was a shit penalising us for mouthing."
he says he "gave both teams a warning".
"but they were the only team doing it you pillock & you penalise our first offence for telling one of them to shut up".
"that could have caused a fight he said".
"shut up..."
Ladder
| POS | TEAM | P | W | L | D | B | BP | FF | For | Ag | Diff | PC | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Seccers | 7 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 63 | 16 | 47 | 393.75 | 20 | |
| 2 | Server Rack Australia | 7 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 63 | 17 | 46 | 370.59 | 19 | |
| 3 | Shooters TFC | 7 | 5 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 48 | 31 | 17 | 154.84 | 19 | |
| 4 | Tiger Electrics | 7 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 54 | 32 | 22 | 168.75 | 16 | |
| 5 | Analytic Allstars | 7 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 48 | 31 | 17 | 154.84 | 14 | |
| 6 | Cruciates | 7 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 47 | 28 | 19 | 167.86 | 12 | |
| 7 | Invision Saints | 7 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 40 | 55 | -15 | 72.73 | 11 | |
| 8 | Ninja Cats TFC | 7 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 25 | 60 | -35 | 41.67 | 11 | |
| 9 | HTW | 7 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 16 | 75 | -59 | 21.33 | 7 | |
| 10 | Hammer Time | 7 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 13 | 72 | -59 | 18.06 | 7 |
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Mid season stats cause i'm bored
Seccer's stats after 6 rounds
- Best winning streak - 6(and counting)
- Biggest win - 14-0 (round 1 v Hammer Time, who are surprisingly coming last)
- Smallest win - 7-4 (round 4 v Cruciates, who are currently 5th)
- Record against other top 4 teams (Shooters TFC, Tiger Electrics, Server Racks - haven't played them yet - could be why they are still in the top 4 ;-) big challenge as we have them in our next 3 games.
- Average touchdowns scored per game - 9.66
- Average touchdowns conceded per game - 1.8
- Most balls dropped per game (from the chest) - 14 (Xman)
- Big Billy Haydos barn-storming runs per game 2.5 (that's all he can manage)
- World record touchdowns scored by one player in a game - 7 (Burkles)
- Leading hamstring twangs 7 (Rupes)
- Leading defensive sneaks by JJ Buckstar - 45 (called for offside 22)
- Most bloodied noses, chins and foreheads (received) - 3 (WoodyMoiMoi)
- Appearances by CEO Dug Stew - 0 (yes, that's zero!)
- Dummies to team mates in scoring situations, leading to NO score - Burkles, Rounds 1-4 at least 10 per game, Rounds 5 & 6 (amazingly he's passed the ball)
- Players with close resemblance to Graham 'Wombat' Eadie - 1 (Willy)
- Front teeth found on the paddock - 1
- Gold necklaces found on the paddock - 0 (reward se.x. by cute blonde for finding necklance - 0)
| POS | TEAM | P | W | L | D | B | BP | FF | For | Ag | Diff | PC | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Seccers | 6 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 58 | 11 | 47 | 527.27 | 18 | |
| 2 | Shooters TFC | 6 | 5 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 43 | 26 | 17 | 165.38 | 17 | |
| 3 | Server Rack Australia | 6 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 50 | 16 | 34 | 312.50 | 16 | |
| 4 | Tiger Electrics | 6 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 44 | 30 | 14 | 146.67 | 13 | |
| 5 | Cruciates | 6 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 39 | 27 | 12 | 144.44 | 12 | |
| 6 | Analytic Allstars | 6 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 38 | 28 | 10 | 135.71 | 11 | |
| 7 | Invision Saints | 6 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 38 | 45 | -7 | 84.44 | 10 | |
| 8 | Ninja Cats TFC | 6 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 24 | 52 | -28 | 46.15 | 10 | |
| 9 | HTW | 6 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 15 | 62 | -47 | 24.19 | 6 | |
| 10 | Hammer Time | 6 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 62 | -52 | 16.13 | 6 |
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